last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
