i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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