Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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