I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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