She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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