So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
