oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
