At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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