My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
