lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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