She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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