i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He better not be in your backpack
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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