Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
