the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
