Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
