Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
