Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
