you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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