Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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