saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
