I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
