we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
