i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
