i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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