HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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