We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize