The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
