Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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