Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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