After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
