you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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