I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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