hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
