my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
