some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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