dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize