Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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