i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
