: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
