True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
