Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Randomize
