dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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