Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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