Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
