I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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