Pappa wants mamma naked
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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