They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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