People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
