Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
