bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
