We're like a lot better than the average bears
We named our party play list daddy issues
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
