shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
