I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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