I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
