is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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