Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
