I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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