is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Boobs are out for the taking
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
