I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
